People often talk about nuclear families. And I am currently in the "longest stay-at-home vacation" after junior high school, so maybe I can reflect on it a bit.
Parents#
My mom is a realist and an optimist, a legendary "praiser". She's the kind of person who can see a half-filled glass of water and say, "There's still half a glass of water!" (A bit like Emily in "Shadow House"). Even during her battle with cancer in the past few years, she maintained an optimistic attitude, still able to smile and even participate in square dancing.
As for my father, a few years ago, after losing his job, he spent a winter watching videos on Bilibili and started learning CAD from scratch, eventually finding a job. It was only later that he realized that HR mistakenly thought he was only 40 years old, when in fact he was older than everyone else in the company. Now, he is the nominal technical director of the company and will retire next year.
It can be said that he has the quality of "making others believe that he can do it", which I don't have.
Here's another example. Recently, I drove about 300 kilometers, with my dad sitting in the passenger seat giving me instructions. During the driving practice, unless necessary (such as when we were about to hit something or at a traffic light), he generally wouldn't disturb me. Usually, it's only after returning to the garage that he would review and discuss "where there were problems during the journey and where adjustments can be made".
This also reflects his attitude towards what I do. As long as it's not a fundamental mistake (like relying on him for money without working), he generally won't say much. Occasionally, every one or two weeks, he would purposefully express his concerns to me. This may be something that a father without a father can do "beyond the majority of fathers".
When I mentioned that I was quitting my job, they immediately suggested "when should we go on a family trip" (and we did go to Chongqing afterwards). During the trip, I would wake up at ten o'clock every morning, leave at eleven o'clock, and there were no obstacles at all. After staying at home for a week without going out, they didn't say anything.
Myself#
Looking at myself, I actually need to reflect. Six months ago, I actually said these words:
My parents have always been watching bad movies at home. Because there are so many platforms and memberships, they are reluctant to subscribe and they don't have a good eye for identifying good works. As a result, they either watch domestic family dramas or anti-Japanese and founding of the nation dramas. If you search on Douban, they have ratings of five or six, which really makes me feel frustrated.
...Now looking back, I feel frustrated with myself for saying such things. It was so overbearing, forcing others to fit into my world.
When I was saying "I am not like them," I should have also thought that "they are not like me." After my friends saw this paragraph, I was scolded severely.
Their happiness index is much higher than mine. They don't have to worry about buying a car or a house, and they are about to retire, with enough insurance. What qualifications do I have to criticize them? They have more friends in their community than I have. This time, when I quit my job and returned home, I realized that this is true happiness, a life that can be compared to heaven.
Since they are so happy, what I should do is "not disturb them". Their happiness is what matters.
Afterword#
There is still a lot to say on this topic, but I personally feel that I can't handle it. This article just briefly records the situation of my own family.
The topic originated from here.
(Finally, I am very grateful to the friend who criticized me severely)
