niracler

Prologue#

I Am Losing Myself#

These days, I have been organizing my diary from this year, preparing to write a year-end summary. I was shocked to find that the diaries from the first half of the year in Obsidian were such a mess. Many scattered sentences without context make it hard to imagine what I was thinking at that time; I have lost most of myself over the past year. This reminds me of a recent anecdote from Wikipedia.

The Wikipedia entry for the Ship of Theseus has been edited over 1,700 times since its creation in July 2003, and the current content has completely replaced all original phrases, with a retention rate of 0%. (Source)

In 2019, I really liked "Land of the Lustrous." Four years later, when the 12th volume reached me this year, I realized that my fondness for it had become a habit, and my feelings while reading this work had become completely flat. Looking at the historical records from before, I couldn't help but wonder, "Did I really like it this much before?" Perhaps gradually, I am also losing myself.

(In 2019, I was still lamenting the changes in the Lapis Lazuli.)

A Letter to My Future Self#

If there is a character that I could instantly like, it would be Sasaki from "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya." Therefore, the reason for writing this year-end summary might just be this one.

"Ten years from now, please don't forget today's self."

Perhaps everyone just wants to prove that they indeed exist, hoping that others can recognize their existence in this world. Maybe everyone acts based on this simple idea. What we long for is just one thing: the simple yet painful message of "Don't forget me."

(Connecting with others to confirm one's existence and that one has lived.)

What I Did This Year#

This year-end summary lists events in chronological order, with some events concluding quite late. Even something like Tears of the Kingdom didn't finish until after the New Year~~ And regarding work, the xlog version was still deleted as usual.

January-February - Fire Emblem Engage#

I started playing Fire Emblem Engage this month. It was released on New Year's Eve, and I bought the digital version that day. This time, I directly started on the super hard classic mode. During this time, I watched many strategy videos. Unlike the previous installment, this one didn't have any memorable plot. However, the gameplay was so abundant that I could play for 140 hours without getting bored 😑 (I even wanted to try more different combinations).

Engage is my game of the year. I really love tactical RPGs; they remind me of the excitement I felt playing "Romance of the Three Kingdoms: Cao Cao's Adventure" over a decade ago. While playing Three Houses, I was puzzled, "Why does the gameplay seem worse than games from over a decade ago?" However, if I were to elaborate on Engage, I could probably write another article of equal length. Maybe I'll write an article analyzing my favorite characters later.

(Took advantage of this New Year's holiday to finish it.)

March - Steam Deck Launch#

This month, I ended my six-month-long "Darkest Dark Period" and finally escaped from the hopeless situation of playing a mobile game. I started to re-engage with work and life. I resumed my chatty nature in the Telegram channel. However, upon returning, I found that my friends were no longer on Telegram, and I had seemingly become all alone. The result of encouraging friends around me to use Telegram was that my chat history now included another Deleted Account.

Secondly, I managed to pass my driving test. I failed the third subject before the New Year, and after the New Year, I had to practice again at a different location. This time, I finally passed. (However, I haven't had the chance to drive since, and I've almost forgotten how to do it 🤣)

I also started using GPT extensively at work, but what initially amazed me was New Bing. However, as New Bing's responses became shorter and shorter, I returned to the embrace of GPT 3.5.

I impulsively ordered a Steam Deck to shift my focus. I say "impulsively" because during my "Darkest Dark Period," I messed up my personal finances. However, the Arch system Steam Deck is truly my dream console. I really want to sell my dusty Xbox now. Looking back, I even said something like this at the beginning of 2022.

Steam gaming platform + AMD graphics card + Arch Linux distribution + KDE desktop environment + Proton (Wine) => Steam Deck. How should I put it? I have high hopes for these technologies or platforms, but when they come together, they seem so unappealing~~

Not cheap at all, I got it for about 5000 yuan. In mid-March, if I were to buy it now, I could probably save a thousand yuan, and of course, the OLED version has been released now.

So, the result is that I can show you guys. This year, in order to play visual novels, I created three accounts and became an honorary Turkish and honorary Argentinian~~

• niracler's 2023 STEAM Year in Review
• ks635704's 2023 STEAM Year in Review
• fi608402's 2023 STEAM Year in Review

(Mom, look at this ranking 😑, but actually, it doesn't add up to 100 hours)

April - Shock! Xiaosang Made Friends#

This month, I watched two seasons of "Westworld." During this time, there was a bit of a mix-up; I watched the 10th episode as the first episode, so when I finished the 9th episode, I realized that the "first episode" I watched was actually the "10th episode," and I still haven't seen the first episode. However, I stopped after finishing the second season and didn't continue.

I also caught up on "Girls" this month. I didn't expect Xiaosang to have found so many good friends. She even became a "sea king," which makes me envious, jealous, and wanting to relate. Later, I also wrote a small article.

It all started during the summer vacation ten years ago when I just entered high school. I remember that it was because I watched the anime of "Girls" that I used the drifting bottle in QQ Space to discuss life with some strangers (since I had no friends to chat with). I don't even remember how that summer vacation passed; it seemed that only immersing myself in the virtual world of online games could fill the void. (I played until I was sick of it, to the point where I couldn't play games for a long time afterward). So, while watching "Girls," I felt that Xiaosang's story was exceptionally relatable. Looking back now, it's actually quite normal; those who lack real-life experiences and are obsessed with the cyber world will inevitably do many embarrassing things in social interactions.

(Xiaosang's harem is already full to the brim!)

May - Heavenly Delusion#

Every year, I go to a comic convention with friends; this year was my first time at Firefly, and I watched the "Slam Dunk" movie the night before. From this point on, my relationship with that friend rapidly declined. Later, I found out that he had started dating someone at that time and then broke up afterward.

During the May Day holiday, I accompanied my family to watch "The Long Season." I couldn't finish watching it with them as I had to go to work. During the same period, I played Tears of the Kingdom for the first time.

"Heavenly Delusion" is my comic of the year. It was from this work that I became interested in Masakazu Ishiguro's works. After reading all of Masakazu Ishiguro's works, I am now a solid fan of him. That Town - Even if the manga has ended, the town still keeps moving - Recommendation - niracler

(Five stars indicate a work that shocked me.)

June - NANA and Cyber Bar#

"NANA" and "VA-11 Hall-A" are the two works I watched and played this month. They contributed most of the music I listened to while working this year. Especially "VA-11 Hall-A," which is simply the cyber bartender's playlist.

It was also this month that I started watching Wong Tze Wah. This year, I watched all of Wong Tze Wah's stand-up comedy as a side dish.

(Although I was reading the "NANA" manga, which is all silent rock, when I listen to the anime's music, I get that feeling of "the one singing is Nana.")

(This is the playlist I've been listening to for over a hundred hours this year.)

July - Trash Circle#

This month, I deeply understood that our company is still in a state of playing house. Yes, I didn't take work seriously; I had been avoiding thinking about work. I recognized the trash circle and realized how terrible the things I was doing were and how low the completion rate was. Because of this opportunity, I decided to register an account on xlog to write a blog.

I also watched "Unfortunate" this month.

After two years, I finally returned to my dorm in Shenzhen. Time has changed; some things have changed, but some things remain the same. The first xLog article was also written in Shenzhen. (It was the one about "VA-11 Hall-A.")

The theory of the trash circle from the senior in the article really impressed me. Looking back at myself, I was limited by the trash circle in high school. I thought I was very diligent every day, but I was actually just spinning in a self-satisfied and self-touched circle, content with being in the top 30 of my grade, thinking that was my ceiling.

It wasn't until I went to university and interacted with classmates from different backgrounds that I realized "the ceiling can be as high as a stratosphere." (Highly recommended; it can be read in 20 minutes.)

So, I started to get back into the swing of things this month. I used gptk to play Windows games on my Mac (Original).

August - Starting to Write xlog#

The turning point began this month; I felt something moving. In a sense, I felt like I was alive again. After that, I decided to write one journal entry and one article of other content each week. (However, I recently adjusted it to one week for journal entries and one week for other content.)

This month, I felt like my mind was filled with thoughts on how to write a blog. It felt like the gears that hadn't turned for three years suddenly started moving again. First, I updated the tools I subscribed to, then I revisited tech news. I also started using Pokemon Sleep and resumed exercising. (But I only persisted for a little over a month.)

I seem to have finally found my cyber bar. Yes, it's xLog. After three years of work (and three years of decline), I've accumulated some fragmented thoughts in my notebook, so I'll take one out each week to post here (on Sundays), and I'll try to make each one have a higher completion rate.

These were my words at that time; in reality, those so-called "fragmented thoughts" were mostly just titles in my previous diaries. It was also this month that I set up n8n for Telegram and discovered how far behind I had fallen in automation.

(The subsequent stories, I feel, don't need to be summarized; my journal entries are my records, and it's definitely not because I'm lazy.)

As for 2024 - Get Out More#

Having written so much, 2023 was truly filled with ACG content. And it was more about talking than doing. I hope to get out more next year and try to shake off the title of "cyber electronic person."

A person's perspective defines their height; if you see the same kind of people every day, read the same types of books/videos, and (read) write code belonging to the same domain, then your perspective is likely not broad enough. The internet is developing at an astonishing pace; if you confine yourself to a small world, it's easy to become a person in the Peach Blossom Spring described by Tao Yuanming: unaware of the Han, indifferent to the Wei and Jin.

(Next year's Random List)

Inputs from the Past Two Weeks#

As for books, I'm reading "Steve Jobs: A Biography," and nothing else.

• Advanced RAG Techniques: Illustrated Overview Translation - Baoyu's Share - Many questions were resolved in one go, and I've used it at work these past few days; I can get started now~~

  This article comprehensively studies advanced retrieval-augmented generation techniques (RAG) and their algorithms, systematically organizing various methods. The article also includes a collection of links related to the various implementations and research mentioned in my knowledge base.

• Whataaabout -

  Ideas for interesting activities you can do in a short time to expand your interests.

• Having A Game I’m Really Into Makes Every Day Incredibly Enjoyable | Plumshell - Before enlightenment chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment chop wood, carry water.

  Apparently, when humans have free time, they tend to stress over the past and future instead of focusing on the present. 显然，当人类有空闲时间时，他们倾向于对过去和未来感到压力，而不是关注现在。

• Home | endoflife.date - A website that records the EOL dates and support lifecycles of various products~~

  Check end-of-life, support schedule, and release timelines for more than 200 products in one place.

• MMSSbrc20/static: $MMSS logo and other static source -
• Degradation Theory — @meditic’s Blog - It is precisely because of this that when an IT youth with an IQ of 147 is still struggling for a 3k salary, while a barbecue shop owner with an IQ of less than 50 is sitting in a Porsche playing with the app developed by that youth, I can't help but look up at the stars.
• Quickstart: Get started with the Gemini API in Node.js applications | Google AI for Developers - I estimate I won't be able to work on this until after New Year's, although it should only take an afternoon~~
• Linux Performance -

  A collection of documents, slides, and videos about Linux performance, mostly created by Brendan Gregg, with a focus on performance analysis.

• 1984 Apple's Macintosh Commercial (HD) - YouTube - With this hammer, Apple changed the world~~ Recently, I've been reading "Steve Jobs: A Biography." Such a world-changing team has reason to be fully committed to their work and passionate about their cause. I can't help but feel a twinge of envy; they deserve it.

  Say what you want about Apple, but the throwing of the hammer through the giant screen is such a powerful image. I think about it a lot these days. If only it were so easy to change the world. 不管你对苹果有什么看法，但通过巨大的屏幕扔出锤子的画面真是太震撼了。这些天我想了很多。如果改变世界这么容易就好了。

Epilogue#

I admit, I wrote this until 1 AM on January 1st and didn't want to continue, so that's it. Happy New Year, everyone!!!